no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Randomize
