The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
Randomize