She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Are we still banned from the library?
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Randomize
