i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
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