I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize