those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
party gras won. party gras always wins.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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