hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
i would punch a child for taco bell
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Randomize