dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
