Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
Blow job season was short but glorious.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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