Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Randomize
