going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
My ATM looks so different sober.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Randomize
