Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
