You're completely useless in the revolution.
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize