omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
Randomize
