i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
