is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
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