Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
