Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Randomize
