Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize