Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
Randomize
