After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
