Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Randomize
