he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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