I must be too annoying 4 u.
..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Randomize
