Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
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