you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
