I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Randomize
