Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Randomize
