i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
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