You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Randomize