miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Randomize