thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
