u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
