you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize
