Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
