I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Randomize
