nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
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