If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
no. you can't hotbox the world.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
