I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Randomize
