I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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