Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
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