Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Randomize
