dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
