Screwed.edu
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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