dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
