Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
Randomize
