So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
