Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
