dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Randomize
