Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
Randomize