Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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