sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
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