She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
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