Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
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