is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize
