a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
