Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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