But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
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