wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
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