did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
