Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
Randomize
