I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I'm really into asian looking animals
The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Randomize
