i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize