You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
