The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
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