If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Randomize