No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Randomize
