..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Randomize
