all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
