You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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