Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize
