he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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