I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
