..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
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